34 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE

*Leave the photo copier at work set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper, 99 copies

*Sit in your yard pointing a hair drier at passing cars to see if they
slow down

*Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

*If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others

*Sing along at the opera

*Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up"

*Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think"

*Practice making fax and modem noises

*Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your
boss

*Make beeping noises when a large person backs up

*Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy"

*Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears

*Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room

*Holler random numbers while someone is counting

*Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist
to others that you "like it that way"

*Staple papers in the middle of the page

*Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise

*Honk and wave to strangers

*Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary
mints by the cash register

*TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE

*type only in lower case

*dont use any punctuation either

*Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets

*Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?",
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now"

*As much as possible, skip rather than walk

*Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping
on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I
messed it up," and repeat

*Ask people what gender they are

*While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet

*Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets

*Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme

*Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in
a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"

*TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!

*Send this list to everyone in your e-mail address book even if they sent
it to you or ask you not to send things like this

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